Hope?

I felt a little bit of hope today when I saw her give you a kiss on the cheek and you two hugged. I felt so relieved like maybe you do still love her and maybe there is hope for you two being together. But then when I told you to stay home tonight you said you can't. Even though I begged you. You tucked me into bed tonight like you used to when I was a little girl and said I wish I could stay here and once again I told you to please stay and you replyed with the short answer no i can't. Then that thing I thought I was feeling. The thing of hope was no more. What is hope? How does it work? Is it only for certain people? Anyway that I could get a taste of it? Because the pain I'm feeling is so great that I could take just about anything right now to maybe think positively. Just a small dose. Please? Anything will help... But then and now I am put back into reality. Hope is no more. Face the facts. As you were ripping down slowly the house I have loved the most and have had the best teenage times in it all set in even more. Come June 15th that's when It really gets real. We shall move into our seperate houses. I shall choose when I sleep at eithers house. So maybe I'll ponder on hope another time. But I doubt it will be soon. For all I want is to live in this house watching her give you a kiss on the cheek and you responding to it as I sit in the living room being as happy as can be knowing you are both staying at the house while I become sound asleep. People can hope. As I wish that my dream will come true.