San Francisco for 3 days.
Thursday beach.
Friday lunch and jaci diggs party.
Saturday EDC!
Sunday relaxation and recuperation.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Home.
Tomorrow. For some reason I don't want to go. Is that weird? Coming from me? Is this really coming from me? That seems odd. I feel like I am going to miss out on so much. But yet again I won't be saying that on wednesday when I have to come back. I have so many things I am looking forward to when I come back. Except thursday. I'm not sure if I am too excited for that. Beach with you won't that be odd? Since you did ruin a big chunk of my life. But you know what you didn't I learned from what you threw at me. I am excited for friday. Hanging out with andrew fox we are gonna go party! Saturday EDC!! And sunday I have to hang out with my cousin "/ what a drag. But I am so over whelmingly excited for EDC you have no idea. But when am I going to fit YOU into my scheduale? God I want to see you so badly. You make me smile and laugh and you give me so many butterflies its crazy. I can't wait to see what happens with everything. Well till next week then! I hope to see you. Summer 09 is amazing. I feel like all I want to do is playing all day in the sprinkalers like we did when we were little kids. Maybe that will happen when I get home! The anticipation is killing me. I am nibbling and my nails. I guess I have to wait.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
wow.
It is time for a new blog. This is a little ridiculous that i have not written in ten days. Summer has been full of surprises and excitement! It's only been a week!! I forgot how good summer was, until now. Never in my life have I had such a great start to a summer. I hope every week of summer is like this one. Parties, beach, ventura, being with friends, laughing, and just smiling. This summer has been so refreshing I needed it. Music has filled this summer with so much joy and compassion. I am recording. Loves it! I am so blessed with all of the amazing people in my life and I can't believe i have the pleasure and chance to be friends with all of these phenomenal people. One thing I love about thousand oaks: My friends.
This summer is dedicated to you. Because senior year is around the corner and I can't wait to grab that diploma and get out. So let's share these times before they fade away because it's coming in a blink of an eye. Soon I will be saying by to all of these amazing people so let's live this summer and senior year up! Let's just grow old together like the ones you see holding hands and walking in the park.
This summer is dedicated to you. Because senior year is around the corner and I can't wait to grab that diploma and get out. So let's share these times before they fade away because it's coming in a blink of an eye. Soon I will be saying by to all of these amazing people so let's live this summer and senior year up! Let's just grow old together like the ones you see holding hands and walking in the park.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Your so refreshing
You know how you always have that "one". The one friend you can always count on and the one who is so amazing and helps you with everything and you basically know is your best friend. I could never get tired of you. You are like a constant in my life. I am so thankful for you. You are always there for me. This sounds so cheesy but you honestly help me through so much. I can never stay mad at you for more then a few hours. I find it odd your the only person that I can never be mad at for a long time. You make me forget that I hate you when ever you flake. But it's okay it's just a natural thing apart of our friendship. Kaitlin Conti I adore every inch of you. You are the definition of a best friend. You're more then that. You make me smile when I am down. You make me cry till I laugh. I have never had a bad time with you. You are such a warm spirit. Thank you for being my one.
They are all doing it
This is not enough. I could say so much more. Those people obviously are sticking out. You're great. You're selfish. You're mean. You're amazing. You're...
1. I wish you understood. I wish you would just get that you make me want to cry. You promise to call me and be a better friend. It doesn't happen. I know it was your senior year and you did a lot but can't you just make time for me? I broke down and cried on your shoulder one day and you said stop crying I'm still here everything will be okay. Well it's not and I am still crying. I lost you. Come find me.
2. Gosh you aggravate me. Just look at our friendship and cool down. Want to lose me as a friend? Well you are doing a good job. Just ease up on me. Maybe we would get along better if you worked on it more. I do. But I haven't seen anything from you.
3. You are incredible. Friends since freshman year. You make my life beautiful. You always bring a smile to my face. I love seeing you everyday. You just make me laugh and chuckle with your beautiful smile and loving heart.
4. I wish you didn't have such a history of bad romance. It turns me off.
5. I'm glad you took that shot.
6. I used to be scared of you a little. You used to hate me. Like wise for myself. But now that we have started to hang out I couldn't be more happy. You might be an odd person and people stare and laugh. But I think you are a beautiful, loving, kind person who has a huge heart and a good sense of humor.
7. Gosh I want to be you. Just please? Only for a day or two? Or maybe more..
8. Leave me alone! I feel smothered. I am sorry you have no friends and that you are going through odd things but please just get your own friends. Your cramping my style.
9. Why do you switch things around? Why do you blame me and accuse me of things I didn't do? Why are you so immature but think you are so mature? You're not. Not even close. Look in the mirror you will never change sorry. You'll always want to do it one last time. You'll always have it in the back of your mind. It's there. It's just tucked away for a little while. Lets see how long this lasts. Good luck. I am so glad you don't run back to me. I am so glad you are not in my life. I am so glad your leaving!
10. You walked back into my life at the most perfect time. I thank you for that. You are becoming closer then ever. I feel blessed.
The things you could say to the people you need to say it to. Let's just see who gets it. I want this to be over. I want to be normal. I want everything.
1. I wish you understood. I wish you would just get that you make me want to cry. You promise to call me and be a better friend. It doesn't happen. I know it was your senior year and you did a lot but can't you just make time for me? I broke down and cried on your shoulder one day and you said stop crying I'm still here everything will be okay. Well it's not and I am still crying. I lost you. Come find me.
2. Gosh you aggravate me. Just look at our friendship and cool down. Want to lose me as a friend? Well you are doing a good job. Just ease up on me. Maybe we would get along better if you worked on it more. I do. But I haven't seen anything from you.
3. You are incredible. Friends since freshman year. You make my life beautiful. You always bring a smile to my face. I love seeing you everyday. You just make me laugh and chuckle with your beautiful smile and loving heart.
4. I wish you didn't have such a history of bad romance. It turns me off.
5. I'm glad you took that shot.
6. I used to be scared of you a little. You used to hate me. Like wise for myself. But now that we have started to hang out I couldn't be more happy. You might be an odd person and people stare and laugh. But I think you are a beautiful, loving, kind person who has a huge heart and a good sense of humor.
7. Gosh I want to be you. Just please? Only for a day or two? Or maybe more..
8. Leave me alone! I feel smothered. I am sorry you have no friends and that you are going through odd things but please just get your own friends. Your cramping my style.
9. Why do you switch things around? Why do you blame me and accuse me of things I didn't do? Why are you so immature but think you are so mature? You're not. Not even close. Look in the mirror you will never change sorry. You'll always want to do it one last time. You'll always have it in the back of your mind. It's there. It's just tucked away for a little while. Lets see how long this lasts. Good luck. I am so glad you don't run back to me. I am so glad you are not in my life. I am so glad your leaving!
10. You walked back into my life at the most perfect time. I thank you for that. You are becoming closer then ever. I feel blessed.
The things you could say to the people you need to say it to. Let's just see who gets it. I want this to be over. I want to be normal. I want everything.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
what is beauty?
This is beauty.
What a beautiful day. Filled with love, friends, and sunshine. I love my friends. I love choir. I love summer. I love being able to taste my senior year. I love little crushes. I love finding nemo. I love louisa, and jay-see. I love warm sunday afternoons. I love life.
Monday, June 1, 2009
I wish
I wish that I could write. That I could write for hours and the perfect words will just flow right out of my finger tips onto the keyboard then appear on my computer. I wish that I still had that ability but it seems like every time I come back to write once again another blog all I do is draw blanks. One right after the other. My blog entrees become worse and worse by every publish. I need to let go and just let my mind wander. I need to break out and see what is outside of myself, of the "norm" of Olivia Rose Mandel's Upside down, Inside out blogspt page. The pounding on my head of the things that need to be put down on this page but just can't and shouldn't.
Sometimes I feel as though I have to be "deep" On these blogs but then just realize that hey no one reads these, except the occasional lurker or two. But should I be calling them lurkers if these pages are to be lurked? What about the "lurkies" that I want to have shuffling in and out of my blog pages, read over and over again about how I feel, about that 16 year old jewish girl who lives in a boring city in california, goes to an average school that nothing happens at, gets average grades but doesn't care much for the classes, sings in this mediocre choir, and one of the best things in her life is that she has an amazing dad but hates that all of her friends love him and want to be friends with him but in fact she just wants to keep him all to herself because her dad is really in fact her best friend that she goes to for everything. How about that? Does that sound exciting to you? Would you read a book about just an average girl who lives in a nothing town, sings, is a bitch, self conscious about her images and hates that she is always and always has to be the chubby girl? Doesn't sound too entertaining to me. In fact if I wrote a book about that I wouldn't even read it.
Can't sleep ever, can't think, can't set goals, can't breathe. My asthma keeps me up. My goals keep on getting harder to reach. My mind is being cluttered with garbage which makes it so I can't think. When am I going to have that break through? When will this all start? I need the answers I can not get. I need the goals I can not reach. I need the sleep I can not fulfill. I need the air that I cannot breathe. I need the thoughts that I cannot gather. I hope they come to me soon.
Slowly but surely everything will fall into place. Right? Yes yes right. Just like how school has slowly but surely come to an end. Just a few days left, I can see the finish line. It was a good year. Parties, new friends, old friends, new beginnings, getting rid of the bad, letting the good in, ending friendships, seeking relationships, heart throbs, and heart breaks, let's bring it on. Let's conquer senior year with a good finish and a fresh start. Only a few months till we rule the school. I think...
Sometimes I feel as though I have to be "deep" On these blogs but then just realize that hey no one reads these, except the occasional lurker or two. But should I be calling them lurkers if these pages are to be lurked? What about the "lurkies" that I want to have shuffling in and out of my blog pages, read over and over again about how I feel, about that 16 year old jewish girl who lives in a boring city in california, goes to an average school that nothing happens at, gets average grades but doesn't care much for the classes, sings in this mediocre choir, and one of the best things in her life is that she has an amazing dad but hates that all of her friends love him and want to be friends with him but in fact she just wants to keep him all to herself because her dad is really in fact her best friend that she goes to for everything. How about that? Does that sound exciting to you? Would you read a book about just an average girl who lives in a nothing town, sings, is a bitch, self conscious about her images and hates that she is always and always has to be the chubby girl? Doesn't sound too entertaining to me. In fact if I wrote a book about that I wouldn't even read it.
Can't sleep ever, can't think, can't set goals, can't breathe. My asthma keeps me up. My goals keep on getting harder to reach. My mind is being cluttered with garbage which makes it so I can't think. When am I going to have that break through? When will this all start? I need the answers I can not get. I need the goals I can not reach. I need the sleep I can not fulfill. I need the air that I cannot breathe. I need the thoughts that I cannot gather. I hope they come to me soon.
Slowly but surely everything will fall into place. Right? Yes yes right. Just like how school has slowly but surely come to an end. Just a few days left, I can see the finish line. It was a good year. Parties, new friends, old friends, new beginnings, getting rid of the bad, letting the good in, ending friendships, seeking relationships, heart throbs, and heart breaks, let's bring it on. Let's conquer senior year with a good finish and a fresh start. Only a few months till we rule the school. I think...
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